Some years ago, I was taking a beautiful walk on a trail near the neighborhood that I grew up in. I was walking with my good friend, Thomas. I call him Wu-Bae. This was around the same time that I read The Power by Rhonda Byrne and began deepening my knowledge about the Law of Love.
As we walked, we talked about whatever we used to talk about in those carefree times. Suddenly, I looked up at the sky. I squinted my eyes at the Sun, but took my time before looking away. I turned to Wu-Bae and said “I want to Love like the Sun.” He, of course, asked me what I meant and I went on to tell him the observation that I’d just had seconds ago.
I told him that the Sun rises and sets on us every single day. So much of what we do and how we live depends on the Sun, yet, there’s nothing that we could ever give it in return. On top of that, a lot of us here on Earth are just awful. Whether it’s on purpose or not. Some of us use that very light from the Sun to guide us as we do some of the worst things you could think of. The Sun doesn’t judge us. The Sun doesn’t expect from us. I wanted to Love like the Sun.
Fast forward to about a month ago and that day flashed in my mind. I asked myself, “where did that aspiration go? Do I still have it?”. I decided then to reemerge myself in the goal of Loving like the Sun. As soon as I said it out loud…the tests began. So, God/the Universe does this thing that I noticed. I’ll be like “I wanna be more like this, God” and God will be like “K, girl, let’s see what you got”. The most important part of becoming is the “be” part. You gotta just be it until it’s a habit.
The very same day, I was having a text conversation with a sometimes Lover of mine and it went pretty south pretty quickly. I found myself wondering if I was crazy. I don’t ask for much. In fact, I don’t actually need shit, maybe some casual company and an orgasm, but nothing more at this stage in my life. When you don’t really want a lot, how could there possibly be this much room for confusion and misunderstanding? We bickered back and forth for a moment before it hit me. What is God trying to tell me right now? I think it was something like this: “The Sun can Love like the Sun because all it has is its light, you have so much more to cater to.”
I realized then that I’ve always plagued myself with being the “cool girl”. The girl who doesn’t need anything fancy and who doesn’t make a fuss. The girl that takes you as you are and never asks for you to bend, and certainly not to break. But in the same space, I’m giving. I may play it off like I’m not giving much, but this energy is fulfilling. Allowing someone into my cypher, to indulge in my conversation, my thoughts, to eat what I cook, to grow from my light in any way, means that I deserve much more than I’m willing to ask (or don’t ask) for.
I can’t Love like the Sun because I require reciprocity.
I will always aspire to Love like the Sun because even the attempt will bring me closer to who I want to be. So, if I’m the Sun, I need water, someone naturally occurring and working with me on giving our plant of Love everything it needs to grow and flourish.