My Late Takeaways from Spike Lee's Spicy Remake of a Classic
Is it just me, or is Nola Darling living the dream? Okay, maybe not in the "I've got my shit together" department, and certainly not in the "my friends are dope" department (that's a conversation for another day), but definitely in the "woke, aware, accountable, owning my sexuality and not conforming to norms" department. I know that this fresh spin on Spike Lee’s classic film has had a lot of Niggas being very verbal about how Nola Darling shouldn’t be the move for us ladies. Even a few Women I’ve seen have been expressing their distaste in Nola’s fluid lifestyle. However, I am here to say that I am all into this modern day Nola Darling and basically everything she’s about. Here’s why:
- TRANSPARENCY! My favorite thing about Nola Darling is that she tells it how it is and she’s not hiding a thing. She has an approach to her partners that I would personally Love for more men to take on. She’s clear and unwavering on her comfort and she’s not making anyone feel like they’re the only one. Like, who has time to keep up with lies that you’re telling to multiple boos? It’s easier to just be honest, especially if you’re not trying to commit in the first place.
- Boundaries. As previously stated, Nola doesn’t play about her comfort. She knows what she’s doing and she knows that there has to be at least a little bit of control mixed into her seemingly chaotic Love life. Having rules such as not seeing multiple people within the same week, and only getting it on in her “Loving bed” made her seem super sophisticated and powerful to me. If a young girl is going to learn anything about sexual fluidity, I like the idea of it coming from a place of calling the shots, owning her sexuality, and doing with it what she enjoys.
- Openness. If you thought Rae Sremmurd ain’t have no type, you definitely were not ready for Nola Darling. She likes them all and keeps a variety on deck. I Loved the portrayal of this. I Loved how different all of her partners are in every way and how it painted the Woman in this way of enjoying her different flavors. She’s open to men and Women of different ethnic backgrounds, socio-economic statuses, and sexualities. But I mean, as a polyamorous pansexual, she’s bound to be, am I right?
- She establishes her sexuality as a separate part of her day to day while also showing it’s importance and normalcy. I know that was long winded. What I mean is, Nola Darling is this extremely talented and smart artist who can hustle her ass off, talk to basically anyone, and make shit happen. Not once were her talent and abilities shadowed by her Love of sex, thus creating an image of a Woman who can do it all and not be a freak, a sex-addict, a traumatized Woman using sex irresponsibly, or just a plain old hoe.
- This isn't coming from a place of lack of self-Love. We’ve all heard that if a Woman “sleeps around” she doesn’t Love herself. No exceptions. Just like that. That’s so fucking stupid and I Love that this new and improved Nola Darling seems (to me at least) to be indulging in her sexual openness BECAUSE she Loves herself, rather than to find Love. It is because of her Love of self that she keeps her options open and on her terms. She could have easily settled for any one of her suitors just for the sake of being in a relationship (y'all know how much bitches Love being in relationships), but she doesn’t because that’s not what she wants. Looks like self-Love to me.
I definitely think of this Millennial version of Nola Darling as a large step up from the original. The original Nola kind of got on my nerves. She was in her feelings and often displaying a lot of confusion despite her believing that she was being sexually open and honest. The new Nola plays no games, her way or no way. And she actually fucks Opal and Loves Opal and maybe ends up with Opal? I Love it. A total twist from your normal Love story because it’s not about getting the guy. It’s about a Woman getting herself and Loving herself with no shame, no lies, and no fucks.