“Hey girl, OhEmmGee, your hair looks gorgeous!!”
“Oh my goodness, thanks, it’s a weave, it’s pretty old, it’s time to take it out.”
*face-palm* nobody asked all that, Sis…
How many times have you been a part of a similar back and forth? We all have, I bet. Why do we do this? This is a habit that I’ve noticed throughout a community of Women that I had to explore. Here are my top three reasons why I believe we struggle with just saying “thank you”, and my tips for combatting this habit.
- We’re genuinely modest people who never want to take all of the shine.
- This is one more pleasant than most reasons we do this. Please understand that there’s enough shine for us all. Being proud and having the ability to take a compliment (or a little attention) will not hinder anyone else from doing the same. Also, it’s not bad or cocky to agree with a compliment that you’re given.
- We believe that our fellow Women are catty and messy, therefore we don’t believe their compliments.
- Is this the case for SOME women? Of course it is. But why focus on that? Why invite that into your cypher? Learn to see the best in everyone. Don’t expect malicious negativity from people, or you’ll risk attracting it. Take the compliment graciously and know that their intention behind it is their business, your reaction to it is yours.
- We don’t believe it ourselves, that we are admirable, or that we’ve done something good.
- “I know this bitch lying, so let me let her know that I know it’s wack” —-this is what you’re thinking. You need to stop it. Truthfully, if you feel ugly, there’s little the outside world can do to change your mind. Be intentional with everything you do and OWN IT! That way, you can learn to Love you and how you look, what you’re wearing, or whatever, so much that what anyone else thinks doesn’t matter.
Whatever our reasons behind being bashful about taking compliments, the ultimate cure is Self Love. When you Love you and everything you do, who can shame you? I challenge you to a game of Truth&Dare. Not, Truth or Dare, keep your clothes on, Truth&Dare. Next time someone tells you that you’re pretty, or you dress nice, or you have a nice voice, or you’ve done a good job at work, instead of second guessing it, immediately decide that it’s the TRUTH, and then DARE yourself to believe it. Repeat it to yourself until you see what they saw.
Share your Truth&Dare story with us!