Man On Top - Some Thoughts on a Wish

I took a walk today and I listened to a playlist of RnB classics. As I made my way back to my block, As We Lay by Kelly Price played in my ear. I was surprised at how well I knew the song as I couldn’t tell you the last time I heard it. But there I was, singing every run right along with her, then my mind began to fill in some images, some feelings that the song induced. I began seeing the story before me - picturing this adulterous man going back home that morning to “face his wife”.

I thought about how there was short mention at the top of the song that they both belonged to other people, but the emphasis, as the song played on, remained with the man and his wife. This was curious to me - and as my mind often does, I began to think of an answer for why this was. I decided that Kelly simply wouldn’t have to face her partner because she worked it out in  a way where she wouldn’t have to. Perhaps her partner was out of town and would have no reason to expect that this is how Kelly spent her night in their absence. The man she slept with, however, failed to come home to his wife the night before, thus, now needing to go home and face her.

I pictured that he’d return home to an irate wife, upset that he left her to worry all night and now demanding answers. He’d either lie his way out or come clean; and regardless of which he chose, they’d stay together - his home would remain in tact. That is so often how it goes. More likely than not, his wife had been taught that “boys will be boys” and she’d talk herself into staying, so as to not blow up her life just because her husband had a slip up, as many men do - so what would it even be worth?

I bet we could all guess what would, more than likely, happen to Kelly, if she came clean to her partner though, right? Once again, the man remains on top. He gets his wife and maybe his mistress too - but Kelly? She’d probably lose her sure thing and be left waiting for this man to appease his wife enough to get away every once in a while.

I just can’t help but to envy men when I think of things like this. I have no desire to lie or mislead - but I wanna be the man on top. I want to walk through the world, pleasure first, getting all of what I want, romantically and sexually, with no limits. I want people to look at my antics and shake their heads while saying “Bri will be Bri”, all the while, I couldn’t care less what they thought anyway.